Thursday, December 13, 2012

my elephant


Our newspaper subscription ran out and we decided not to renew. Now my mornings feel naked.

We’ll probably make one more library run this month and then we’ll only head back to return books (and pay fines).

I make cookies and bread, put them in the freezer, and then wonder if we’ll get around to eating them before we leave.

Last weekend we sent the kids away (not by themselves) and filled up the car with stuff to get rid of. The house still feels full and cluttered. This weekend is Dung Out Session Number Two.

***

It’s like there’s an elephant in the room, an elephant named Guatemala. It sits there, smack dab in the middle of everything. Sometimes I think it looks lovely and exotic and other times it seems scary and downright wrong. But there it sits. So I shrug my shoulders and go on doing other things, ordinary things, because I can’t spend my whole day staring at an elephant.

***

I skipped the quotidian post this week. My routines are fading. The chaotic unknown is encroaching. I feel myself slipping into lockdown mode.

I go for walks and play with my camera and watch Parenthood. I stock our toiletry kits with little tubes of toothpaste and write thank you notes and stare at the wall.

It’s too much.











Photos courtesy of my older son.

This same time, years previous: cracked wheat pancakes, gingerbread men

9 comments:

  1. I keep thinking about your elephant and how it must be awfully hard to work around its mass.

    Very cool pictures.

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  2. If you're really missing the DNR, you can actually subscribe online for $3 a month, 1 month at a time. :-) That's what I do.

    I can't imagine how your world must feel right now...in limbo...caught between one culture and another. Neat to see that you're having fun despite the weird feeling!

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    1. I did not know that! But really, what I miss is the actual presence of the newspaper: sending a child out to get it, flipping through the pages, burning it in the wood stove...

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  3. What a unique position you're in right now. You're doing it, though. As weird as it is, you're doing it. And before you know it, you'll be off, sitting right on top of that elephant. It will be so much better than just staring at it:-).

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    1. You are so right! Thank you for the MUCH-needed perspective.

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  4. my dear. I feel your elephant.

    That first photo is stunning.

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  5. I know how I get when I have to pack for two weeks. I couldn't imagine packing for six months. You guys are very courageous to take this trip. I admire you all for being willing to completely change your lives. I can't wait to hear the stories.

    And, because I really must know, how did you take those photos?
    ~FringeGirl

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    Replies
    1. Twinkle lights between the camera and subject!

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