Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Ode to the Titty Fairy

For ten long years you blessed
my scanty boozums
abundantly.
How wondrous to fill
out my dresses and shirts
and to, for the first time,
justify wearing a bra.
For the duration of your visit
my body swelled and
shrank,
four times in all.

My uterus has ballooned
for the final time,
never to distend again,
though I will appear
four months pregnant
every time I eat too much.

My baby,
my seca leche
(milk dryer-upper),
is three-years-old next week.
You are no longer needed,
so you have pocketed your fairy dust,
packed your wand and flitted away,
stripping my chest of its curves.

Just because you aren’t needed
does not mean you aren’t wanted.
Did you know that?

I miss you.

7 comments:

  1. My Ode to the Titty Fairy

    Oh please don't come back.
    I did not much like you.
    Cracked and sore were all I was
    now let me enjoy
    my few months
    of wearing my
    sexy bras.
    None of those snap-on
    snap-off
    things that never worked anyway.

    My uterus was once swollen
    and I suppose will
    be swollen again.
    But for now she remains
    nice and flat
    except when I eat 6
    mini monkey breads...
    oh heaven help my
    belly role.

    Oh titty fairy, oh titty fairy
    please don't come back
    to haunt me
    for at least
    another 9 months.

    I don't miss you
    one bit.

    ReplyDelete
  2. listen to me. You don't need breasts to be sexy and happy.

    ReplyDelete
  3. You two (JJ and Zoe) are a hoot. I feel as if I am being taken over by mine. The larger my belly swells, they swell as well. While I am thankful for what they will hold for this babe, I do miss the originals.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Are you joining the Itty Bitty Titty Committee?

    -Aunt V

    ReplyDelete
  5. tiny-little brotherJanuary 29, 2009 at 7:01 AM

    http://www.theonion.com/content/news/plastic_surgeon_general_warns_of

    ReplyDelete
  6. Aunt V, I've been a long time member---just took a leave of absence for ten years...

    -JJ

    ReplyDelete
  7. Oh, yeah. I've got 4. Been there, done that, and I miss them, too.

    ReplyDelete